Discovering your sexuality is a quest and it will always be. When all of your friends lost their virginity around 15 or 16 years old, you can only feel like a late bloomer. Or the opposite, you might be the one who lost it first, not knowing exactly what you were doing. Either way, it is important to understand everyone’s timings and therefore, respect them.
I, myself, am in a constant battle between my identity and my desires. As I grew up and wondered when all these ‘wonderful’ things will happen to me: falling in love, having my first time and/or an actual long term relationship, throughout the years, I’ve always heard the same advices: “you are still young, you have time. It will come” or “it will come when you expect it least”. It was a song people would sing on a loop to make me feel better. It didn’t really work.
As I grew up I experienced different situations with different type of people and I learned a new thing from each of them, and I guess, this is what matters the most: every encounter has a meaning. You might think it is commonplace, however you might still learn something about yourself you didn’t know.
However, having fun doesn’t mean giving yourself up to anybody. Sometimes I feel people struggle between this difficult battle of desire and reason. Giving in or holding back. Where is the balance? In the end, you always end up stuck in the middle. You probably experience some crazy adventure that you can tell your friends about. Tell them that you think you’ve met the guy of your dreams and you had this ‘incredible deep connection’ as I did, or hold back on doing something you’ll regret.
This type of “struggle” is as real for women as it is for men. We all want to enjoy ourselves, forget about our daily lives. Escape. Trying to connect with someone a little bit deeper than usual, even if it’s for a short intimate moment. Sexuality and the discovery of oneself can be tough, insure, but it’s something worth trying.